i genuinely believe that 2012 was the optimal tumblr experience. like if you didnt live through 2012, you havent fully understood how much of a hell site this is. to jog some ppl’s memories:
francieum
quirkybrittany
justgirlythings
“I like your shoelaces” “I stole them from the president” and people actually fucking doing this in public
we still called porn fics “smut” and “lemons”
“you must be fun at parties”
cole sprouse’s tumblr social experiment, and some people taking it so seriously that they threatened mass suicide
mitt romney
hetastuck (hetalia and homestuck fandoms were moirails i guess)
hussieruya (people unironically shipping the creators of hetalia and homestuck)
andrew hussie actually asking about hussieruya in his twitter
the obsession with andrew hussie’s lips
superwholock fandom (this was their prime)
supernatural has a gif for everything
“Fuck you watson” somehow being praised as the best comeback possible?? ok lol
hipster side of tumblr vs fandom side of tumblr, and all those pictures of the two coexisting to bring some sort of peace? as if we were at war with each other?? wtf was up with that
the dumbest fake stories holy shit, and everyone believed them
benedict cumberbatch everywhere
that sherlock gif of benedict cumberbatch looking into a door’s peep hole and people saying how if you cover one side of his face he looks confident but if you cover the other side he looks sad, so they said he’s the best actor in the world or whatever
gangnam style everywhere
people being shamed from using memes or even saying the word meme
“Oh, you facebook people think tumblr is boring? Well, we’ll find you…Supernatural fandom, grab your demons! Sherlock fandom, grab your Watsons! Doctor Who fandom, grab your Tardises! Harry Potter fandom, grab your wands! Homestuck fandom, grab your strife cards! Hetalia fandom, grab your pasta!” proceed for 1628519 more fandoms
“im pretty sure thats taylor swift” “no thats becky”
the dancing chandler gif from friends
“Reblog if you dont have a problem with gay marriage!” followed by ten mile long additions of rainbow gifs and pictures and 9gag memes
potato jesus (i’ll admit, this was actually funny)
the reblog button being at the top of posts
cuil theory, aka “i give you a hamburger”
27 comments on a post just saying “INSTANT REBLOG” or “PRESS PLAY”
song mixups from people “accidentally opening a bunch of tabs playing music” but it was actually from a pop mix album
“ah, the scalene triangle”
XD vs 😀 discourse
the most reblogged picture on tumblr
doge
men of tumblr
the cursed long ass “fedoras arent that bad!” post
touch my butt and buy me pizza
spread this like wildfire
tumblr university (complete with uniforms)
tumblr island
tumblr nation
these all would lead to the creation and failure of dashcon
like I go on social media platforms sometimes, and I’ll put up with anything. i’ll log on to some garbage website, i don’t wanna name an actual website so let’s just make one up. let’s call it “tumblr”. so i’ll log onto tumblr and i’ll go, “can you ban all the porn bots?” and they go, “no, we’re not gonna do anything about it” and I go, “okaaay!” and then I go watch something on netflix. and then i come back to tumblr and I go, “any updates?” and they go “yeah, we flagged a bunch of posts incorrectly and deleted blogs that had nothing to do with the porn bots. because we hate you. now take this pointless april fool’s gag that doesn’t matter, go fetch!” and I go “okaaay!” and I @ staff and go, “can I have my blog back please?“ and they go “NO!” and I go “okaaay!” and they go, “you’re a little naive user, aren’t you?” and I go “nooo,” and they go “SAY IT!” and I go “i’m a little naive user.“ and then I go over to the tumblr support link (which is an oxymoron) and I go, “can this please be a functioning website?” and they go “no! in fact, we’re gonna ban all nudity on this site indiscriminately! and we’re going to keep incorrectly flagging sfw posts with our shitty algorithm! and we’re not gonna do anything about the white nationalists!” and I go “why are you doing this to me?!” and they go, “because we’re tumblr staff, and life is a fucking nightmare!”
EmotionalGay94 